Dating violence is often hard to define, because any relationship has both good and bad times. But when a partner becomes unpredictable and abusive, it's time to get help.

So how do you know? It can be confusing, but there are signs (see warning signs of abuse) . The abuse tends to follow a pattern of tension building, abuse, then forgiveness. During the in-love phase the abuser may be genuinely sorry and ask for forgiveness. This may be a romantic time and the couple may feel a sense of renewed intimacy. But the abuser will abuse again.

Click here for an on-line quiz that will help you define your relationship and decide if it's healthy or not.